Wednesday 20 June 2007

Sleeping in the bunkhouse

Sorry about that crack I made about Norah O'Donnell and Jackie Meretsky at the end of yesterday post. Just a harmless fantasy, you know?

I admit it, I've been kind of cranky lately, but with good reason. The truth is, Deirdre has cut me off. Totally. Don't tell anyone, though. It's kind of embarrassing.

And do you know why?

No, seriously, do you? I'd love to find out. Maybe one of you babes, or a sensitive new-age type guy, can give me a clue. What the hell did I do that ticked off the Green Ho like this? And what should I do about it? Frankly, the bunkhouse is kind of uncomfortable. And sleeping next to a horse isn't doing anything for my sex appeal.

Time to cowboy up...


Fake Bernie said...


You think your in the dog house with Deidre (Is it true she's starting her own Web Site "The Green Ho' Net"?)?

That's nothing compared to where you stand with me you wrinkled up old skunk! You rubber chicken faced doofus! Had your face ironed lately, you long haired turkey necked, scrotum faced, cowboy wannabe geek?

I take time from my busy schedule (you think it's easy standing on the freeway on-ramp with a sign that says "Will Insult People for Food" The least ya could do is send Brant around so I could Squeegee the limo.) to drop you a line and show my support and do you even notice? Of course not. And your the poster geezer for Loyalty in America? (As Wyatt would say 'Check mate Dumb Ass.')

You mention fake Paris. You mention not one but TWO fake Wide-Load Brewers, ya pant load. You even mention Some groupie I-Ho wannabe named laree but do you mention your loyal bald headed stooge?


Never any love for the B-Man

I didn't see your butt kissing buddy Fake McCord going on Hannity and Colmes to throw down with Sharpton. You don't know how dangerous that was. Fat Al#1 mistook my head for a watermelon and tried to eat it. Colmes had to wrestle him to the ground while security hit him with a stun gun.

Thank god Roker wasn't there, Hannity might have had to muss up his hair.

Aww who am I kidding. I miss You I-Buddy. Come back soon (let's face it, you can't have much time left.) I'm polishing my FedEx envelope awaiting your return


The Fake Don Imus said...

You are right, Bernard. I apologize for not acknowledging your comedic contributions. They were very funny, especially the cardinal. And your defense of me -- us, actually, since you started the whole "ho" riff -- on hannity & colmes was admirable. You'd think people wouldn't have to have it explained to them, would you? But in case anyone missed it, Imus on the Morning is/was a comedy show, OK?

Bernard -- I've missed your sweet talk, ya big lug. I wish I could send Brant around, Bernard, but I've had to give him the summer off. Things are a little tight for the I-Man right now. (Yes, Bernard, in both wallet and scrotum.)

Fake Bernie said...

Thanx for the love Fake I dude. You know how i feel.

I hate to bring this up but it seems that CBS/WFAN/MSNBC were blowing smoke screens. (As oposed to chunks which is what the audience has been blowing. We won't even talk about what Crappus, Loonves, and Deadstone are blowing)

They've decided on your replacement. It'll be announced any day now but i got it on the Q-T from a source in Astoria.

You can check out there work here...

Don't give up though buddy we'll come up with something. The guys over at have a pretty good idea cowboy.

Give Wyatt a hug from Uncle Fake Bernie and give Deirdre a (well if she's allowing you to give her anything)

Laree said...


Michelle Malkin is blogging about: The Fairness Doctrine the Progressive Attack on Talk Radio...I thought maybe you might want to track back...I left a couple of comments #41 & #51 these people are showing up late to the game, where have they been?

Tell Fake Bernie, I am not a I Ho Wannabe, Groupie, I am a Real I Ho (SMILE)

Real Laree, Trying to Get Your Fake Butt, returned to the Airwaves where you belong.

Fake Rush said...

Mega Dittos and Zieg Heil old Mellifluous Master of the Microphone.

This is your old buddy Fake Rush "Talent on Loan from God" Limbaaaaauuugh.

Well I guess you stirred up the old proverbial hornets nest my friend.

I told you the Feminazis, Clintonistas, and liberal media elite would turn on you and feast on your wrinkled carcass like Jews at a free buffet someday.

Remember the Good ol' days when I used to drop by, share a story, sing a rousing chorus.

Speaking of which some I-maniac (Satan's answer to Ditto-heads) has actually posted one of my oldie but oh so goodies , "Friends with White Faces" on his Audio Blog. You can find it at

It also seems he's having some kind of tadoo in NJ. Theres some info on his blog, I think, but after three or four Oxycatins it's kinda hard to focus the old eyeballs.

Fake-Bernie you might want to try working the parking lot at the Little York Tavern Saturday with your squeegee (I'd send you some of my Tie Line ("Every Tie designed to look great with a Brown Sgirt) to hawk, but the Republican Congressional Caucus just ordered 5 gross and I'm a little short(Besides being a little Round, HaHaHA)

Fake Charles if you find yourself seeking employment give me a call, but I'm warning you you'll have to botox your lips to Jaggeresque proportions to kiss my rather ample buttocks

Well good luck all. Cant stay here all day, you know. After all, I'm employed.

A Simple Man of Letters
(all of which spell KKK)
Fake Rush

FakeMika said...

Fake Bernie,

What are you doing these days, what's the next gig "Dancing with the Stars" White Men can only Polka.

In the meantime, I get to play slap hands with Joe Scarborough, under the desk, he won't keep his hands off my knees, Yeah thanks alot.

Fake Mika,
I always fake it.

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