Imus asks...

How'd I do?

In case you missed my latest reincarnation...

On stage at New York's Town Hall this morning, it was all-new -- and yet the same old Imus in the Morning.

Of course, Bernard and Charles were back -- would it really be Imus in the Morning without them? They're loyal. I'm loyal.

Karith and Tony are fine. Eventually I think they'll be great. It was only the first day, and I think they were a little nervous being in front of a live audience.

As I told the audience, the cast may have grown, but the show won't change. Cheney is still a war criminal. Hillary is still Satan. And I'm going to spend the next five years on WABC, hunting down and getting even with all the bastards who deserted me. (Maybe I'll borrow Cheney's shotgun...)

The Newsweek creeps are first to go. Banned for life. Sure, I know there was that MSNBC-Wash Post deal, but the Howards (Fineman and Kurtz) have long since outstayed their welcome. And their relevance.

Speaking of relevance, did you hear that crack Howard Stern made? About me "no longer being relevant." I might have taken offense, if it hasn't come from a limp-dicked pornographer like Stern...

Ahhhh.... it's good to be back!

Who are the new Imus affiliates?

Anybody seen a complete list of all the stations carrying the new Imus in the Morning show? Citadel gave a list to me and Charles, but we both lost it. What can I say? We each need a nanny...

What are YOU thankful for?

Yeah, I know. Me too.

Imus -- on RFD-TV??

I suppose you've already heard the news: my pretty face will once again threaten to shatter your TV screens starting Dec 3. That's the same day the I-Man will commandeer the radio airwaves at WABC and on Citadel O&Os (owned and operated stations) around the US.

I know, I know. I said I would NOT be simulcasting on RFD-TV. But the big-money negotiations with those phony weasels at -- oh, never mind the name of the company. Anyway, the hypocritical bastards welched on our verbal agreement, leaving me with no choice but to cowboy up with my country cousins.

It's OK, actually. I love the guys at RFD. So far, anyway. I'm sure they'll do something to tick me off one of these days -- and you know I'll tell you all about it on the air -- but for right now everything is cool.

RFD's head wrangler and poo-bah, Patrick Gottsch (as in "Gotcha!") said:

"Don's passion and understanding of rural America fits in so well with our ongoing effort to bridge city and country folks with this channel."

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, you I-Fans are getting a two-fer. My voice on the radio. My face on RFD-TV.

Just be glad the show's not in hi-def.

Imus show: "A welcome relief from political correctness"

Maybe Dick Cavett said it best in the New York Times:

"There is really no getting away from the injustice that’s been done. A program enjoyed (and missed) by millions was trashed for the sake of the few."

Oh well, it won't be much longer now. A couple more weeks and the I-Man will be back on the air, ready to smite what Cavett, in that same piece, called "the skilled flame-fanners and the professionally offended" who fanned those "wee embers" into an inferno.

It's gonna be sweet. To get psyched up for some serious smackdown, I'm re-reading the script of Pulp Fiction -- especially Samuel L. Jackson's part.

Like Lazarus, Imus rises again

It's finally official -- but no surprise to you guys, of course. The I-Man is officially back. Back from the dead, ready to kick some ass and hold some morons' feets to the fire.

On December 3, Imus in the Morning is resurrected debuts on WABC, and shortly thereafter will air on most (but not all -- sorry) of ABC's radio stations. BTW, there's an out in my contract that lets me set up an independent syndication deal if enough of ABC's O&O stations chicken out. So I'll be heard in most major markets real soon.

TV? Sorry, not yet. The deal for the TV simulcast is still in bogged down in money negotiations among the suits, but don't worry, it'll happen. (No, not RFD TV. I love those guys, but I'm not going to work for them, for chrissakes. I need a slightly higher profile if I'm going to kick Morning Joe's pudgy posterior.)

Stand by for the big announcement.

Shock and "Awwwwwww!"